funny things my kid did today

L - "I wanna have some chocolate 'cuz I peed on the potty"

Me - "OK you can have a piece of chocolate"

L - (horrified) "NO MUMMA!  I no wanna piece of chocolate I wanna whole one!"

L - "Mumma what this?" - said while taking a tampon out of the box.

Me - "Oh you don't need that, those are for ladies"

L - "Oh like Lady and the Tramp?"

Me - (snickering) "Yea just like Lady and the Tramp"

L - "Oh, 'den 'dis one Lady, and 'dis one Tramp and 'dis one Scamp" - said while removing a super, regular and lite - in that order.

A-Rod's answering machine tapes

I can't take credit for this one - but I thought all my fans would like it so I stole it!

10. "Hey, it's Mark McGwire. Want to get together this week and not talk about the past?"

9. "Joe Torre here -- thanks for helping book sales"

8. "Could you find a steroid that keeps you from choking in the playoffs?"

7. "Are you worried this will taint all the championships you didn't win?"

6. "It's Bernie Madoff. Nice try but I'm still the most hated man in New York "

5. "Michael Phelps here. Got any snacks?"

4. "This is Sammy Sosa. Just pretend you don't speak English"

3. "Michael Phelps again. Did I call you or did you call me?"

2. "Hey, it's Rod Blagojevich -- I'll say you're innocent, if you say I am"

1. "It's Madonna. You got a phone number for Jeter?"

Funniest shit I've ever seen

I'm watching TLC's "A Dugger Wedding" or whatever the hell it's called, you know that family that keeps pumping out the kids.  

The commercial on right now is telling me that this program is brought to me in part by Lev0n0rgestrel.

I think this may be the most fitting example of irony I've ever witnessed!